At some point in life we will all experience some form of loss. Loss shows up when the bonds we have formed in and around us are broken or changed. Loss is experienced when what we once held as a value or possession is no longer present for us to experience in life or present to have or possess. Loss happens when there is a significant change in what is a familiar routine.

Different things can cause us to experience a loss. The death of a loved one, the end or change of a relationship, the loss of a job, losing or moving away from a home, life transitions, and growth.

The experience of loss causes different thoughts and emotions to surface. From these experiences there are different narratives that are created within us. Some narratives that come from loss are:
I don’t know what to do now
I am alone
I can’t take this
I can’t go on
I will never be happy again
I am a failure
I am broken
I don’t deserve love
I am weak

These are just a few examples of narratives that come from loss.

When we lose something or someone, this creates an opening in our life that needs to be addressed. We are left with a void and this void can be filled with many things: grief, sadness, anger, confusion, and more. It is important to acknowledge these feelings and allow ourself to feel them fully so that they can be processed. If we don’t acknowledge the experience of loss, give expression to it and release it, it will marinate and spill over into other parts of our life. We may find ourselves becoming emotionally disconnected from ourselves, others, the world, and God. We may be unable to find meaningful relationships, and begin to feel like we lack purpose. Unresolved grief can also cause us to feel like we are stuck in a never-ending cycle of pain and sadness. We may feel like we are going “crazy”, or that there is something wrong with us. This is why it is important to become aware of our responses to loss, and navigate the experience in a healthy way in order to have healing and recovery.

The inner narrative that we tell ourselves about the loss that we experience and the actions that we take afterwards will determine how we heal and recover. Here are a few tips to consider as you navigate your loss experience and begin the journey of healing.

Allow yourself to feel. Dealing with loss is never easy. When we lose someone or something we love or experience other forms of loss , it’s normal to experience intense emotions like sadness, anger, guilt, and despair. It’s important to allow yourself to fully feel these emotions, rather than bottle them up inside. Suppressing your feelings will only lead to more pain and dysfunction down the road. Don’t feel like you need to put on a brave face for others. Pretending you’re fine when you’re not will only exhaust you. It’s healthy to express your feelings openly to trusted friends and family. Let them comfort and support you.

Give yourself the time and space needed to mourn. The intense pain you feel now will gradually lessen over time. Be patient and caring with yourself as you travel the long road of healing from loss. Taking care of yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually is crucial. Grief can take a toll on your body, soul, and spirit so be sure to:
Eat well- Make an effort to eat healthy, balanced meals, even if you don’t have much of an appetite. Your body needs proper nutrition to function during this difficult time. Avoid emotional eating or making too many drastic changes to your diet.
Movement- Physical activity benefits both the mind and body. Take a walk, aerobics or dance class, lift weights – whatever helps you release emotion and stress. Exercise can boost your mood and provide an outlet for your feelings.
Get sleep – Grief can interfere with your sleep schedule and quality of rest. Try to maintain a regular sleep routine and make your bedroom a calm environment. Lack of sleep compounds your sadness. It is also not helpful to oversleep in order to avoid emotions. Balanced rest is important as rest is a time for healing. Taking care of basic needs helps you regain strength and stability. Don’t neglect your health as you navigate loss. With self-care and support, you will make it through.

Remember the Good Times- When you’re grieving, it’s easy to only focus on the pain of loss. However, taking time to remember the good times you shared with your loved one, positive experiences and things that came previously can provide comfort and perspective. Reflect on the happy memories you made. Although it may bring some sadness initially, reminiscing about the joyful times is an important part of the healing journey.

Consider Counseling. When experiencing loss, especially the loss of a loved one, it can be immensely helpful to seek counseling from a mental health professional. They will be able to help you process your emotions, shift your perspective, and develop healthy coping strategies. They provide a safe, judgment-free space to open up. With their support, you can better understand your grief and eventually integrate your loss in a way that allows you to heal. Seeking counseling takes courage, but it is one of the best things you can do for yourself during this challenging time.

Know that grief has no timeline. There is no “normal” amount of time to grieve. Some people may feel better after weeks or months. For others, it may take years to find peace. The most important thing is to allow yourself to grieve at your own pace, without comparing yourself to others or expecting to “get over it” by a certain date. Some days will be harder than others. You may feel like you are making progress, only to have setbacks when memories or milestones trigger fresh waves of sadness. This is completely normal. Don’t judge or blame yourself. Over time, the intense pangs of grief tend to become less frequent.

Loss impacts us spiritually as well. Being able to stay connected with God allowing him to heal our soul and strengthen our spirit is an important part of healing and loss recovery. Luke 6:21 states Blessed are those who weep now for you will laugh. Psalms 34:18 states The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. Being able to connect with God in this time will help you to be strengthened to live forward. Connections can come by prayer, focused devotions, intentional times of worship and leaning into your faith.

We have feelings in response to every loss that occurs. Some are small and insignificant others have lasting impact on our attitudes and outlook on life. Being able to identify when we are grieving a loss and grieving in a healthy manner is vital as it helps us to heal and get to a place where we can decide what life will be now that things have changed.

Emotions are a part of our make-up. God intended for us to experience them. It’s a part of being made in his image. Don’t run from them, don’t let them manage you. Become comfortable with them, all of them and pay attention to what they are telling you about what you are experiencing. Then decide what you should or shouldn’t do if anything.

It is my hope that this has brought some awareness and knowledge that will help you to navigate your journey of loss and be more empowered in a healthy way in order to continue living forward.

Journaling Prompts:
What has been your history with loss and how have you responded?
What is the story that you’ve told yourself about your losses?
Is there a loss in your life that needs to be addressed and tended to?
What does honoring loss mean to you?
How has loss shaped who you are?
What are some ways that you can begin to navigate loss in a more healthy way?

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