Communication Barriers and Ways to Overcome Them
Communication is the exchange of information. It can be verbal or non-verbal exchanges, and it can be intentional or unintentional.
Communicating is something that we learn to do early in life. In our infant stages and even in utero we find ways to communicate our needs, wants, comforts, and discomforts. During this time of our life communication is not an issue. So, the question is what causes this to change. Is it awareness, disconnect with safety, self, or others, learning the impact or consequences that may occur? I would say the answer is all of these and more. These are the things that begin to quiet our voices and make self-expression complicated.
Being able to communicate is a skill that we all need to work on developing at some point in our life. It is not something that comes natural for everyone and even for those that it does, there may be times when it’s difficult to communicate because of intense emotions or difficult circumstances. Being able to identify barriers and working to improve them is one way to enhance our ability to effectively communicate. This is important because communication is a key factor in building relationships and achieving our goals.
Barriers
Barriers are circumstances or obstacles that keep people or things apart, or prevent access, progress, or movement. When we apply this to communication a barrier would be anything that keeps two or more people from exchanging information that could bring together, allow access, progress, or movement. Barriers limit and restrict.
When it comes to healthy relationships we want boundaries not barriers. Boundaries are the limits we set for ourselves and others. They help us to maintain our own sense of self, while also respecting the needs and feelings of those around us. Barriers, on the other hand, are walls that we put up in order to protect ourselves from being hurt or taken advantage of by others.
There are several barriers to communication. Some are global like language and cultural differences and others are more personal. Personal barriers can be anything from lack of confidence to the inability to express oneself clearly.
Personal barriers are unique to the individuals communicating however there are some that are common that I want to share with you.
Common Communication Barriers
Perceptual Barriers- These are the barriers that are created by how a person perceives the individual they are communicating with and the world around them. This is a barrier because it’s one sided and only based on what a person believes. Perceptual barriers can be caused by cognitive distortions or biases that prevent you from perceiving people or situations as they really are. Past experiences play a significant role in creating perception barriers. Perceptual Barriers can lead to confusion, false or misleading information, and assumptions. These all lead to poor communication.
Emotional Barriers- What we feel definitely impacts and guides what we do or do not communicate. We have a wide range of emotions and the intensity of them, or the lack thereof can completely change the way we relay and interpret messages.
As I stated we have the ability to experience a wide range of emotions, and they come into play when we communicate. One emotion that I want to mention specifically is fear. Fear is an emotion that has the potential to be a major communication barrier. When a person is afraid, they are less likely to communicate effectively. Fear can cause people to become defensive, which makes it difficult for them to listen and understand what others are saying. It also makes them more likely to make mistakes when they do speak up. Whether it’s fear of judgment, punishment, bringing attention to oneself or hurting another person’s feelings, fear will hinder effective communication and open the door to a breakdown in relationships.
Lack of understanding– When we don’t understand or feel like a person doesn’t understand us it not only hinders what we communicate but how. We may withdraw, withhold, or get lost in explanation instead of what was originally meant to be communicated. When there is a lack of understanding it may lead to overtalking or over sharing.
Addressing Barriers
Communication barriers have to be addressed in order to have effective communication. One way to do this is to audit yourself.
Take time to slow down and identify what thoughts surface when you know you have to talk to others? Being able to identify the preceding thoughts or beliefs about the person you are communicating with, or the circumstances you are communicating about will help you identify what your perception is. If you are able to identify distortions, assumptions, or negative bias ahead of time you can use this information to decide how it will or has affected your communication.
Take inventory of the feelings that surface ahead of time. If you are able to identify, label, and address the emotions prior to communicating you will be able to regulate yourself ahead of time.
Consider your conversations. What you intended to say vs what you actually said. If you find that you walk away more times than not with incomplete or changed communication this is an indication of an unidentified preceding belief, fear, emotion, or barrier.
How often are you engaging in active listening when you are communicating with someone? Listening is a very important part of communication.
Are you giving others space to be human and have emotional responses or are you changing what you need or want to say to control the other person’s response?
Do you have faith in yourself and your ability to manage the outcome of what you communicate or does the fear of your response prevent you from communicating clearly?
Taking time to self-audit will give provide insight on how you communicate. It will give you evidence of your strengths and areas of improvement. Self-auditing is just one way you can work on overcoming communication barriers. Being able to ask trusted family, friends, romantic partners, and coworkers is another way to identify communication barriers as well as putting yourself in the space to learn about and develop communication skills.
Conclusion
Clear and intentional communication is a necessary ingredient for a healthy relationship. There are several things in life that can present as barriers to healthy communication. It is your responsibility to identify and address any barriers that may surface for you.
Journaling Prompts:
- Communication is
- What are the results of my communication self-audit?
- One thing I will do to improve my communication is
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